Wednesday, 7 May 2014

May Countdown to Copenhagen: memories of Düsseldorf 2011

2014 Semi-final #1 musings to follow later....

As for 2011, well we're talking about a special, special year, as I was actually in the arena in 2011; it’s one thing to watch it – and what a joyful thing that is - but being at Eurovision itself is a whole other extraordinary experience indeed.  The main difference, for me, was getting even more immersed in the whole shebang – even a big city like Düsseldorf gets taken over to a degree by the Eurofans, and being there meant increased exposure to all the musical offerings, which in turn meant we get to know the actual entries far better than the one-shot TV show can ever offer – almost like it’s a song contest.  We also got to high-five each of the performers as they came off stage, so HELLO.

The other brilliant bit is the Euroclub, a dedicated Eurovision party temporarily set in up town, where up-tempo Eurovision numbers from years past are played in a loop, and every Eurogay lipsyncs every word.  In Düsseldorf, there was even an amateur* Israeli dance troop on stage, with dance routines (like, *the* dance routines, like, from *the* shows) prepared for every single tune - they had even delegated which one of them got to take the lead vocals for each particular song, so everyone got a go at the emotional air microphone.  

*I say ‘amateur’ in that they probably weren’t being paid to be there – but they were truly professional.  It was joyous, and not just because I’d had mucho vodka.

In fact, the whole thing was so exhilarating that I barely noticed the winners, Azerbaijan’s Running Scared.  I accept it wasn’t a vintage year song-wise, but I was still surprised that Europe was so taken with this blandathon.  Maybe it’s because it included a firework golden shower.  Probably Europe loves a gold shower.  I mean, there’s no way the juries tried to fix it because Azerbaijan were one of the few countries who could still afford to host the thing in 2012... 

Tell you who the jury didn’t like – and that was the UK’s entry, Blue.  Although their performance in the stadium was a teeny bit ropey, it wasn’t atrocious, and the public phone vote would have placed them a happy fifth place (see, Europe doesn’t hate us!).  The jury however (who judge things a day or so earlier, during the rehearsal show) stuck poor Blue in 22nd place – leaving them in 11th overall.  I Can remains a GREAT pop song, even if police cell wee-er Lee Ryan was involved.

But, really, 2011 should be remembered for two things and two things only: Jedward.  Turns out Louis Walsh really does know what crappy old cheesetosh will get the cash registers ringing.  I thought Europe would be far too confused by John and Edward "Together We Are Jedward", but it actually decided it quite liked the bonkers duo and the catchy Lipstick.  The whole thing was a delicious car crash – amazingly they made their way through their three minutes without breaking anything, managing most of the dance poses, singing sufficiently quietly into their microphones that the backers took on most of the tune and getting their hair quiffs to stay erect throughout.

A quick note on my favourite Eurovision nations before I go – I was most disappointed by the Greeks’ dirgy Watch My Dance (probably they had checked the piggy bank and were pulling a Father Ted) and Ukraine’s Angel (which focused less on heavy bass, mini-skirted MILFs and hamster wheels, and more on sand painting – impressive SURE, but also: zzzzzzz).  But Sweden were back on excellent track with Eric Saade’s Popular and quality rhymes like: “Stop, don't say that it's impossible / Cause I know it's possible”.

GOOD TIMES.

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