Montenegro – couple singing and practically DOING IT ON STAGE! (He was actually liking her neck at one stage). Spangly dress - check. White suit - check. Male pelvic gyration - check. Good opener, but struck by the curse of the first on - forgotten come voting. Should have made it over Boznia-Herzegovina.
Czech Rep - a mustachio-ed Gypsy superhero (good thing) and Gypsy band (ok thing). The song was total rrrrubs though. The red lycra suit and cape, and slapstick violin-bow-in-face move wasn’t enough save this. Deservedly failed to go further.
Belgium - oh dear. The poor Belgian Shakin' Stevens. In gold lame. Cull.
Belarus - big hair, another white suit, an axe-wielding intro and a wind machine. Horrible, obviously - but in quite a good way. At least Belarus won junior Eurovision, eh?
Sweden - High NRG popera. A bit 'meh', but redeemed by some good glittery mask action from the backing singers. Still, come on Sweden – it’s not really EV without them.
Armenia – slinky ladies, dry ice, pan pipe action, funked up national dress. Britney à la goth. Excellent stuff.
Andorra – have never qualified before. Well, taking a bunch of girls dressed in white and miming guitar-playing might have seemed a good plan, but it was decidedly underwhelming. "But I would rather die" she sings with a beaming smile. That was the highlight.
Switzerland – boring, indie pop. Lead singer can’t sing and isn’t even fit. It was better last year when they got that outrageously hot Italian in. Ahhhh Paolo... *sighs*
Turkey – ranchy ethni-pop. Good use of belly dancing and the phrase “dum-tac-tac” (or similar). And to cement such quality, they’ve added a man in a skirt. Fab-u-ous! (Also a rip-off of Greece's last winner Number One, but wtvr.com)
Israel – two friends, one Israeli, one Palestinian, singing “There Must Be Another Way”. Politics ahoy, as Eurovision solves the Middle East crisis. I like both song and sentiment! And the impromptu bongo interlude.
Bulgaria – Bulgarian glamazons! Not sure anyone was expecting that… Yikes - they do not look good in close up! Hello, the world’s worst hair extensions. And stilts. Yawn. Hideous wailing over a house beat. Bad.
Iceland – pretty ballad, pretty girl, pretty boring, but I’m glad it got through. She can sing and she has a pretty Gone With The Wind dress. And so far this year, dull & proficient feels surprisingly preferable to gimmicky & rubbish. (Re-reading this in 2011, I can't believe I was so 'meh' about this one - I LOVE it now. It's one of my all time Eurovij favourites!)
FYR of Macedonia. OMG – actual rock twins. They seem to have spent their budget on perms.
Romania – four sexy ballet dancing backers in neon rags, with lead hottie on a throne made of a tree trunk. “I’m going to start my weekend with a tonic and lime” – add vodka, sweetie. For all our sakes.
Finland – REALLY, REALLY BAD RAPPING! OH YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT! Think the love child of East 17 and 2-Unlimited. They are all too old and their clothes don’t fit, but they’ve compensated with fire throwers. I would have totally loved this when I was 12 and doing that side to side step dance move at the school disco and wondering if we were going to play Arches soon.
Portugal – once again, Portugal go for a portly-gal who can belt it out in Portuguese. It's nice. It's very nice. I thought it was doomed and am quite pleased to see it through!
Malta – oh it’s chunky but funky Eurovij royalty Chiara. Third time lucky? Well, the lungs are pumping as ever. It was fine. I liked her sassy little head flick.
Bosnia & Herzegovina – and some more white suits. Mass drumming. Pfffff. Boo! This is far too pompous and serious. Can we skip to the voting now please? I cannot BELIEVE this got through! Travesty!
So, Sweden, Armenia, Turkey, Israel, Iceland, Romania, Finland, Portugal, Malta and Bosnia & Herzegovina through. All good and well deserved really, bar the awful B-H (BH = BS). Not a vintage selection, but not half bad. Semi number two is looking VERY promising though. I think I saw a shot of a Ukrainian doing the splits across a giant ring! (NB: That is not a euphemism of any kind.)
No comments:
Post a Comment